Pitmaster Shane D Blog

The Yard Is Getting Away From You.....

Updated: Jun 26, 2019

Before I get started on this rant of sorts, let me set the scene a bit. Here in Western Ky it has rained a lot. No...seriously, A LOT. I feel like we are living in some weird version of the redneck tropics of late. If its not raining or we aren't literally dodging tornados then it is 90+ degrees outside. It's great for organisms that base life on photosynthesis, not so much for the rest of the carbon based life forms residing here near the Mason Dixon line.

To continue scene setting you have to realize the chaos that is the daily life of my small family. I'm married to a 5ft tall lovely woman, who also doubles as a volcano if she's mad at you. I think I heard it said once that "a mothers love is unconditional...her temper is another story." That's not to say anything negative really, you just have to accept that is what you are dealing with. 99% of the time she is amazing and much more than I could ever ask for or deserve. In her defense, I'm sure if we just stopped being knuckleheads she would have much less to be mad about. Needless to say the neanderthals (everyone with a penis in the house) and the dog in the house do our best to stay on her good side, of which I am offending Cave Man Numero Uno.

I am not perfect, by a large margin. For all the creativity and passion I have for whatever I am doing or working on, the rest of the house could be literally on fire and I'd likely overlook it due to being so engulfed in whatever I am doing or thinking. Frankly, I suck to live with. I mean I am of course charming and a trophy husband, but there are some serious downsides that I am oblivious to most days. Hence the boss lady turning into a volcano to get my attention some days.

Cave man numero dos is a 16yr old boy. He had a rough start to life with lots of challenges. He's licked most of them, but he's still a teenager who cant decide if he's 20 or 12. All the stereotypical things you could apply to to a 16yr old boy applies here. He's sweet, means well, but the only thing motivating him his an impending throat punch from Neanderthal Prime. Dos really isn't into too many things aside from explaining how tired he is at all times and retreating back to his room where he can close the door and ignore the rest of the world. Seriously, if you break eye contact with Dos he is like a ninja and will vanish back to his room in mid sentence if you aren't careful. He does work hard though once he's engage and is insanely loyal, you cant take that away from him.

Cave man numero tres is a 8yr old boy. He's insanely smart, insanely clever and works hard at everything he does, including charming his way out of most situations. I often joke that he's trying to become a superhero. He's just one of those special kids who has just enough talent, just enough smarts and twice the drive to be great at everything he does. His only downside, he's a lot like dear old dad. He get's super engulfed in whatever he's doing and this hyper-focus means there is no room for anything else to be thought of in that moment. Tres is good at all sports and does his best to play them all. Running club..check. Karate...check. Baseball...yup. Basketball...of course. Soccer...heck yeah. We seriously beg him to slow down but he genuinely loves sports and it's hard not to love to watch him play his heart out at every single one of them.

So you add all of that up on top of me basically having three jobs and what you really have is a family that would kill for a Saturday with nothing to do. Seriously, it just doesn’t happen. If we aren't on the road, we are planning to be on the road, or have just got back from being on the road or figuring out who is getting son 1 to work and who is keeping son 2 on a given day. I would call it controlled chaos, but who needs control, we just embrace chaos as an old family friend. The reality is that super mom keeps it all together while dad is constantly replying to emails, texts, calls, etc while nodding my head at whatever it is that my bride is talking about. Wait...she's still talking, this one must be important. Crap....I missed the first half. She's gonna be mad. Yeah, she has her hands full for sure and no way any of us make it two weeks without her or her calendar.

So that’s the gist of our daily insanity, I mean life. Then comes the old man next door insisting that the yard must be mowed today. "The yard is going to get away from you if you don’t mow today." I never understood this phrase at all. I mean the yard is still there, its not going anywhere, even though I really wish it would some days. The only enjoyable part of yard work to me is riding around on the mower with my earbuds in. It's two hours where I look like I'm working hard, but the reality is that I'm catching up on podcasts and thinking of the next sauce, rub, company or dastardly plan to take over the world.

But I digress, as I have to come up with a response to "the yard is going to get away from you if you don’t mow today." Yesterday was the first day in so many, many months that I remember just sitting in my chair and recharging my batteries. Yes, there was a small window that I could have mowed, but it rained the day before, and it was due to rain yet again. Plus I was cooking some pork butts for Tres baseball pool party we slated to go to, so I didn’t mow. Honestly, after about 5 seconds of having nothing to say that wouldn’t be completely snarky I just gave up and made some comment about "yeah, its been awfully wet and muddy." The conversation continued, but the further it went the more I honestly just thought about letting it grow up to my knees to see how long it took before the old man just snapped.

Don’t get me wrong, he means well. I just wish I had time to put "the yard getting away from me" in the top 10 of the crap I have to deal with on a daily basis. I'm not retired. I'm rarely home this time of year due to the barbecue season and commitments I've made with other companies. I'm filming a national television show for pete's sake and have put about 18k miles on vehicles the last year chasing that down, but you want to talk about the yard.....Yes, I know my priorities are completely off kilter to most of the world. Frankly, I don’t want to live life like the rest of the world. I'm at peace with all that I have going on and the opportunities that it's provided me and my family. In fact the only thing I hate is that I miss some of the kids ball games. If I could fix that, I'd change almost nothing. I used to hate the travel because my wife and kids never got to go. That has changed for the better and I enjoy it more than I used to. Getting older has had its issues, as I cant do the 20hr days like I used to, but there are still few who can out work or out idea me. Heck, I feel like I'm just now hitting my stride.

I set up this whole story to simply relay this. No matter how great you think your life is going and how much chaos you juggle. Someone is always going to point out that you've forgotten something. I partially wonder if it's just to keep us grounded or if it's to remind us that you just cant be a hero in your hometown. No matter how many great things you do, there will always be one more thing that someone can pick out and point out.....on your front lawn at 8am. In that moment sometimes you just have to shrug, smile and mumble to yourself just how much they can go f$&k themselves while doing so. Keep your sanity, enjoy what you've built....and keep on keeping on because I promise you the haters will still be there tomorrow morning lined up on your front lawn to point out things.

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